So many inner-voices show up to tackle the mundane and the life-changing; and they don’t always agree.
Researchers develop device that can ‘hear’ your internal voice
“Researchers have created a wearable device that can read people’s minds when they use an internal voice, allowing them to control devices and ask queries without speaking.” The Guardian
Happy future: this technology sorts out all the different voices in my head and helps me make sense of things.
Dark future: this technology allows others to read my mind–and yours–which is a very, very, very bad idea.
Photo source: Geralt on Pixabay
The coupon was for 40% off a single item. A second coupon—same store—promised another $2 off on top. A character was aroused.
She gathered her purse. Told Bubba she was headed out.
“Where you going?” he asked.
“I’m off to shop,” she said.
“What are you buying?”
“I’m not buying, I’m shopping.”
He turned in his chair and eyed her. “What’s the difference?”
“Buying is when I need something specific, maybe toilet paper or toothpaste, and I go out and get it. Shopping is when I want something, but I don’t know what. I wander the aisles until something hooks me. Eventually, something will. Shopping scratches an itch.”
“Oh,” he said, sounding confused.
“I have these coupons I need to use,” she said, as if that explained everything. “How often does CVS send out 40% off coupons? With a $2 bonus on top? I gotta use ‘em today because they expire. I’ll walk around the store until I find something, maybe even something we need. If I’m lucky, I’ll find something we need that’s more than we’d usually want to pay, and can apply the coupon to it; get maximum savings. What I get is less important than how much I can save.”
“So,” Bubba said, with sudden understanding, “what you’re really shopping for, is a bargain.”
Photo sources: MarcoRoesler on Pixabay; Coffeebeanworks on Pixabay
I talk about personas and characters that chitter away in my head, critiquing how I’m doing things, often saying I’m doing things wrong. Depression takes that to levels that cripple and can destroy. I appreciate this blog and how it talks about it. A close friend of mine committed suicide. I have periods where I see life through grey-colored glasses. When that happens, I experience life very differently; darkly. And I know that having someone tell me, “chin up,” not only doesn’t help, it generally makes me feel worse. Better understanding is a good step.
“Depression is exhausting. And it’s cruel. It tells you terrible things about yourself. That’s why Ms. Spade and Mr. Bourdain died. I can’t speak for their experiences, but I can speak for my own and what I know to be true from many other patients with depression: our minds become ruthless bullies. They tell us the meanest things about ourselves. They stockpile ammunition and open fire. And we have to sit there and take it because, well, it’s coming from our own brains.”
Kate Spade. Anthony Bourdain. Two gut-punching suicides that have people asking “Why them? They had it all!” Sure, Bourdain lived a hard life, but Kate Spade, the queen of whimsy? She was wealthy, adored and…
Depressed.
We need better words. One of the biggest disservices to the field of mental health is to call the diagnosis of “depression” by the name “depression.” Everyone “gets depressed.” It’s a commonplace word: “I’m so depressed the meeting I planned fell through.” “The ending of that show was too depressing.” “He’s too depressing to be around.”
None of these examples has anything to do with the psychological definition of Depression.
People who live with depression are wired differently. Our brains perceive life differently than those who do not have depression. Let me put it another way.
Suppose you were born left-handed in this predominantly right-handed world. Suppose that was considered OK from time to…
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When Bubba and I met, we each had years of experience loading dishwashers. The thing is, we didn’t load them the same way. And since each of us was sure “our” way was the “right” way, we had to deal with some relationship hiccups as we figured things out.
Routine aspects of life give me regular opportunities to “figure things out.” That usually means trying to understand the inner voices that chirp away when, for instance, I see Bubba do something my Inner Judge insists is just not right.
Maybe he’s putting forks into the dishwasher tines-down.
“The tines won’t get properly washed!” The Judge says, absolute in her declaration.
Bubba has a way with words. Sometimes, when I hit black ice in my writing, it’s all I got: thoughts plucked from someone else’s head.
If you want more, there’s a Bubba category. Here’s a link to three other favorite Bubba quotes.
Photo source: Garageband on Pixabay
I’m responding to likes and kudos, comments and accolades. Like Pavlov’s dog, I’m salivating over feedback; getting hooked by WordPress’s announcement that I’ve surpassed my previous record of likes. New record: 27! It may be a puny record, but it’s my record. So…whoot!
Pavlov. Dogs. I’ve been writing about dogs. Ugly dogs. Fee for petting dogs. Dog House fiction.
Is this all an accident? Coincidence? I think not.
It was dark on my morning walk as I forced myself to smile. There was nothing funny about the dark, but I smiled anyway.
I was exercising; not just my legs, but my smile.
“I am not going to become a grumpy-looking old person,” I told myself. I had seen those faces; the edges of lips turned down in a permanent frown. A look at a few Mitch McConnell photos should scare anyone. I was resolute; this was not going to happen to me.
She stood in front of me, her 8-year-old daughter by her side. This girl, now woman, who had taunted me in my youth. She and her friend would feign to befriend me, only to toss slights my way and jaunt off together to play, leaving me behind. It was an up-and-down arrangement; when she needed someone, she’d turn to me. When she didn’t, she’d turn away.
Years passed. She was now a mother, with several children, and had redirected her life from the wildness of her youth, to that of a responsible adult, finding her way back to the God her grandmother feared she had strayed from.
“I feel so badly about how I treated you when we were kids,” she said, looking first at me, and then down at her daughter.
She spoke to the girl. “Mrs. G and I were neighbors, and I was mean to her. I’m not proud of that. That’s why we’re here: so I can tell her I’m sorry. I want you to treat people right, and to know it’s never too late to apologize.”
She looked back at me, subdued. We hugged, and I felt the pain of her shame. Her seeking forgiveness was a moment I never expected, didn’t know I wanted, and felt deep gratitude for experiencing. It was a moment of unanticipated grace; a grace still with me today.
Nothing like fireworks and kind words! My Dog House 150-word fiction piece got the nod from The Creative PTSD gal’s contest. Yes! I won! Whoot!! Thanks, Jo 🙂
This did not come easy and spent most of my night reading and re-reading the short stories that came in. I even asked my husband for his opinion (believe me, that rarely happens) and he was some help. Here it is:
If you would like to read the short story The Dog House and all the other wonderful submissions just follow the links below:
The House
The Inn of Eternal Rest
Hence, the Exorcists
Marmalade
The Silenced Eyes
The Walk
There is something to be said creating something just from a blank screen and believe me I know, it’s not flipping easy! Every one of these writers (yup you’re writers) should take a bow.
Tomorrow I am introducing Fenton and the writing project that everyone gets involved with. Stay tuned!
Since today is the last Daily Prompt day by WordPress, folks are having a Community Rising response and creating replacements. If you love the Prompts, check here.
Last week I reblogged the post regarding the fall of the Daily Post’s word of the day prompt. I was concerned personally because I depend on these words to stretch my thinking, to practice my writing and to encourage me to be accountable for posting every day. I decided immediately that I would post a word myself that I could use as inspiration. I never realized how many people would feel the same way; it has become quite the topic on WordPress.
That being said, I have 3 people who will be collaborating with me on this project. Given that the first post is scheduled for tomorrow I feel very behind on organizing this effort so it’s likely that we will have a bumpy start…completely my fault as I’ve been preoccupied with making summer plans (if you read my post yesterday this might not surprise you).
As quickly as I…
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Walk the Goats 