Research indicates that happiness and/or validation does NOT come from a single event. Lottery winning, Oscar-winning, Rock Star moments all produce momentary “highs,” but do not move the happiness scale. Nevertheless I—and others too?—have a penchant for wanting some singular event to establish one’s meaning, place in life, worthiness of love, all leading to a place of irrevocable happiness.
I flashed to a memory from about age 6. We were in the car and my dad pointed to the odometer; it was very close to turning to all the same digits. I think it was going to be 111111.1. I remember the feeling of excitement; that I was going to be at a special place and time and I wanted to focus my attention on it, look at it as it happened, burn it in.
Then I got distracted by something, took my eye off the odometer, and by the time my attention returned, it was past. Something like 111111.3. I felt oddly crushed, as though I had missed some great opportunity, some important juncture. I remember trying to figure out how long it would take for all the numbers to line up again, despairing that I would ever have that opportunity again.
I have not yet caught one of those singular odometer moments and did not even note the relevance of 11.11.11 until after the fact; even then, I felt only the tiniest bit of regret that I did not set aside a small portion of that day to revel in its numerological significance.
~ A Bubba Guest Post
Photo source: Pixabay